Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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