i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
