We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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