my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
