he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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