You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
