I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
