If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
