Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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