The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
