that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
