Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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