I can feel you judging me through the phone.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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