I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
