I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am midnight drunk by noon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
