So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize