YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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