Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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