It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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