He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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