I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
