Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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