Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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