btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
