Say something about gay babies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
