you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
