My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
