yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
