there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
