Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
