I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
