the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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