what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
