i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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