After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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