Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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