I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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