The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
