tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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