I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you