I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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