Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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