My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help