My first STD was from a foam party
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it glows. i had to have it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
