Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
porn star boner night. come get it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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