like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
