I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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