so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
