Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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