Nicole vs. Life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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