Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
