shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize