i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
