I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
