My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
