It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
