'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
