what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
