hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
