doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
