38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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